Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Alot has been going on since I last really posted. Mid Fall I left to head to Florida to visit Dillon and was doing some teaching along the way. I taught in North Carolina at Random Arts, a two day jewelry class and stayed with my friend, Phyllis. We had so much fun and she was a wonderful hostess. Right after I left Phyllis and made my to Georgia to stay the night, I got a text from Jeff that Tucker was quite ill and had been taken to the hospital via ambulance. This was 2 days after hurricane Sandy hit. Everyone had lost power and the coast was a mess. The ER was equally a mess. Utter chaos (according to Jeff since i wasn't there).

I made the immediate decision to cancel the rest of my classes and turn around. It took me 3 days to get back as I had to sort of criss cross around avoiding hard hurricane hit areas, etc. I picked up a generator in Georgia before leaving (as ours was not working well). I also loaded up on fire logs, D batteries and gas cans.  When I got about 2 hours from home, I filled up the gas cans and had to drive with the windows down for the rest of the way. 

The hospital staff (infectious disease) hit Tucker hard with an course of hard hitting antibiotics to battle this unknown bacteria he was fighting. (i say unknown as nothing ever grew in a culture). He continued to  get much better and got to come home the day after we regained power. A few days later, we thought he was acting ill again, so took he back to the ER and they admitted him overnight for observation. By the next day, he was fine again. So i don't know if we were paranoid or what was with that 2nd trip.

Since then I have been battling anxiety attacks. mostly at night, waking me up with a pounding heart and grim thoughts running through my mind. I have this feeling of not being safe for me and Tucker. I'm having horrible dreams about him and the worry is affecting my appetite. Add into the mix, my friend, Michele, being so ill. Since I last posted about Michele, she's been diagnosed with breast cancer (in addition to lymphoma) and is undergoing chemotherapy. In a few months, once chemo is over and the tumor has been reduced, she will undergo a double mastectomy. A lot for me to be worrying about.

I know that I am going through post traumatic stress disorder. It's happened before, only not this harshly. Today, I am going to be doctor to talk about it with him and figure out ways to get a handle on it. 

thanks for listening.   


  1. Hi Kecia - keeping you in my prayers that the panic attacks subside and the doctor helps you get on track. Think of you daily. Love the art work at the beginning of the post.

  2. I hope Tucker and you feel better soon. I understand what it feels like when life becomes overwhelming. You are strong and brave ... but even having those two qualities doesn't make it any easier. Will be thinking of you and your family.

  3. Kecia, I'm so sorry to read this. I've been out of the loop for some time, saw that photo I HAD to send you, then came over to catch up. You have been through so much, it's no wonder you're on edge. You are very lucky to have so much love around you, from you family and friends, and from your readers who are sending you warm thoughts and good vibes, as I am. Take care, take time, and, as a dear, old, departed friend used to say, "Take two hugs from the petty cash." xoMyrna

  4. Hello Kecia,
    I was so sorry to hear about your Son getting sick. And about the damage from Sandy. My Mom and I were going to take your class at Jennifer's. I'm so sorry to hear of your panic attacks. I recently started having panic attacks and anxiety attacks myself. My Doctor prescribed "Pristiq" for me and It has been a miracle for me.I feel so much better and normal now. I will pray for you and your family and friend.

    Debra Ganas

    And hope some day you can come back to Georgia. We still want to take a class from you.

  5. Sweet Kecia,
    How very scary it must have been to get that text. As parents we sometimes need to be reminded that it's alright to leave our children. I firmly believe that it makes us better people and that it also strengthens our family. Ultimately, Tucker was well looked after, and he learned that if you feel he's not safe, you will move heaven and earth to get back to him. What a great mama you are!

    Thinking of you and yours,
    Lynn Roberts (from artful gathering 2012)

  6. Kecia - I took your wonderful class in Stamford and have been going strong since them making ornaments. I want to thank you for your wonderful class and strong focused teaching. I'm sorry to hear that your son was ill, and can relate to the panic attacks, as I have a hubby with a illness that can suddenly attack. I dread travel as I never know what might happen, but I haven't given it up yet. I hope your doc helps you thru this, as well as your wonderful art. Thanks again for the great class.

  7. Kecia, my heart goes out to you. Please give yourself the space to feel the feelings. There is so much on your plate right now and as an artist your heart is already so open -- it would be impossible not to feel battered by recent events. During the midst of the storm as trees were falling and transformers exploding I just kept reminding myself to breathe. Just breathe. A good friend told me to count my breath and it helps me immeasurably when I feel myself beginning to panic. It sounds like you are being such a good friend to Michele and a good mother to your son. Remember to treat yourself with the same generous compassion. In the end what matters is that none of us is really alone. As long as we reach out to support each other, we'll be ok. Here's sending you love and good energy!


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