Saturday, August 30, 2008

feelings of impending doom

i can't help shake this bad feeling i have. i am sure it is related to Kirby's seizure and the uncertainity of it all. watching her hobble about. she can barely get off the floor when she lays down as she is quite weak. i was told some of that is due to her medications. still it is very upsetting and makes me feel weepy for her. i feel angry too because we all know that our pets will leave us some day, but yet it still seems so friggin unfair. i've dealt with so much loss that i am sure it contributes to all these feelings. she'll be seeing a vet again next friday to draw levels of phenobarbital and check her blood pressure. she needs to adjust to these new meds and that is important for me to remember - that she's medicated. i still hate it all.

2 comments:

  1. it is very understandable, and you've pegged it right by your description - i understand it - mom

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  2. Kecia,

    I'm sitting here in an internet cafe in Chicago - reading my e-mails and also your blog. I know very well how you are feeling. We lost our dog, Rocky, in March and are still grieving. At the end, we just couldn't watch him suffer any longer. Our vet came to our home, and we euthanized him out on our deck - a place he sat every morning, surveying "his land". It was such a difficult decision to let him go - but we knew in our hearts it was the right thing (for us) to do. Not that you need to make this decision, yourself, but you will know when that is. My heart goes out to you...
    Hugs,
    Ilene Harris

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