grieving

i've been spending my time quietly missing my sweet doggie. i sure do not like being sad. but i certainly realize it is all part of the grieving process. we had her cremated yesterday as the ground is just too frozen to dig through right now. can't say i enjoyed that whole process very much even though the facility was very nice. i guess it's just more finality.

when i am sad, i like to write haiku's in my journal. so i wrote a few to help capture my memories of kirby:

i see you waiting
you watching as i make your food
barking, so happy

i watch you outside
walking around, taking your stroll
find a stick to chew

you lay there sunning
wriggling around the grass
paws rubbing your nose

i see your eyes close
you drifted away peacefully
yet my heart is broken

sitting there watching
you see the world through your eyes
a bark to join in

cute button black nose
mouth full of crooked teeth
suggestive of a smile

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i've also been doing some therapeutic "fun" art. art just for me; not to sell, not to submit and not to fill orders. just no pressure, fun, fulfilling art. been altering a pair of jeans to wear in vegas, i think they are looking pretty cool.


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just wanted to let you know

at 1:30pm today feb. 5th, 2010, we had to say goodbye to our sweet kirby. it was the right choice to make. she had a rough night and after seeing the vet today, it was apparent it was time. we had it done here at our home and she will be buried in the backyard.

i've thought about this day for several years now as she has gotten older. it was always weighing on my mind; wondering how much time we had left with her. i guess i had hoped she'd live forever.

we had 14 wonderful years with her and i'm going to proclaim that she was the best dog ever. i think dinner time will be the worst when she would do her "kirby shuffle" as she was excited for her home cook meals that i made for her. i will also miss her love of dillon and his friends. even as she aged, she wanted to be right in the middle of whatever they were doing. she'd go up and down the steps right along with them; never minding that it was hard for her to get back up the steps. she and dillon grew up together. i know dillon is quite sad right now; as we all are.

as i massaged her last night, i talked to her and told her how much i loved her and i asked that she especially be there to greet me at Rainbow Bridge so that we could cross it together. i know she'll be there. i miss her sweet, friendly face so much already.

i want to thank everyone for all their kind words. certainly i am not the first pet owner to lose their pet; but i appreciate you all understanding and offering up much needed support.

laying low

i'm feeling a little sad, so if i'm quiet in the next week, you'll know why. kirby, our sweet little golden retriever was just diagnosed with lymphoma. i can't say i'm shocked and with her age, it's to be expected. kirby is the sweetest, kindest dog. she loves everyone and always wants to be right in the middle of all the kids, just like she is one of them. i call her "the ambassador". i don't want to say goodbye to her yet; guess i thought she'd live forever.