Tuesday, January 3, 2012

the fragility of life- 2012

I know, I'm a few days behind- but I've had a hard time celebrating the new year, so I guess I've just put it off. Tucker got sick (per usual) on Christmas Eve, which sent my adrenaline system into overdrive. It was really hard to enjoy opening gifts in between his coughing fits. It makes me sad for tucker, it makes me sad for dillon and it makes me sad for our family in general. All that stress hanging around in empty space above our heads, defeats in and all chances for enjoyment. It is difficult to describe, unless you know what I am talking about with the challenges of a special needs child and how it impacts the family and life in general, so I'll just have to leave it as, "sometimes it sucks".

then a few days later, a family friend's 10 year old niece, was killed in a car accident. This is a girl we've met at family functions and "know her". She was a beautiful blonde child with HUGE eyes and the cutest little bob ever. It is difficult to make sense of it. I almost wish i didn't know about it. I can barely think about it, it is so upsetting. My husband is there in Tennessee now, with his friends and the family. He is going to come home distraught and depressed; because we've been there- we know that sorrow. it is beyond devastating and there is little comfort beyond what little we are doing.

I can't help but reflect on how fragile life is. I keep thinking that less than a week ago, that precious child was celebrating Christmas with her family. She was probably very excited along with her darling little sister. And then she is gone. There is no making sense of it. Life is a random slot of numbers.

Sorry to be so melancholy. I've just said goodbye to dillon and sent him back to school (a difficult goodbye). the holidays are done and i'm feeling a little empty following the tragedy of an innocent child.


  1. Kecia, I am sad that my friend is hurting. I don't know what to say except that I love you and wish I could be there to give you a big hug. xox Colleen

  2. Well, and all of that explains why you were so sad to say goodbye and why Kashie was upset too. Very understandable. I understand that stress and cloud you talk about...and I try to hide it, but not sure how well I really am able to pull that off...


  3. Kecia--So sorry about Cameron. I was at her candle-light vigil 2 nights ago--the accident happened in my little town. Such a sad, sad time. Tell Jeff I'm sorry and if he wants to get away a moment and have coffee to call me......hugs, Brenda Bliss

  4. "Life is a random slot of numbers" -- how true this is Kecia. It sums it up in just a few words and yet there are not words enough to describe life with a special needs child or the senseless loss of a 10 year old's life. What does strike me is that both Tucker and this little girl are bright, shining stars...both meant to teach lessons to those around them. We don't always see the lesson right away -- but it is there.

    Your heart is heavy and by sharing your sorrow and your hurt with us I hope it made you realize that opening your heart helps to ease the ache. xo

  5. sometimes life is so difficult and somethings are so hard to bare.. and we just dont get to understand why. and life is fragile and so it just is... and we just do what we have to do and go through the motions with heavy little hearts.. then in a little while, something creates a spark in us and a little sliver of joy creeps in, and we can carry on again with a much lighter heart and much more capable of feeling joy again. its sort of a cycle isnt it? I know you know how it works.. we just dont get to understand why. and those darker days..really do suck.
    I hope you wake up with a lighter heart tomorrow Kecia! ♥

  6. It is so true that life is so fragile and how it can change in a heartbeat. I am so sorry and don't know what to write, other than I will keep you, your family, and your friends' family in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs. xxx

  7. Yes - Life is extremely fragile. You, Your family and your friends are in my prayers. I am so sorry.((((hugs))))

  8. I am sad too for you and the family - mom

  9. So sorry to read about all this sorrow you are enduring right now Kecia. It is hard at any time but at the holidays it seems to be even more so.
    Sending you a soft hug and many blessings,

  10. Hugs to you and your family, Kecia. Such terrible news and incomprehensible that such a little life is gone. You have such a great spirit and are always the energy in the room. Take some time to lay low and regain your vibe.

  11. Kecia, so sorry for the tragic loss you're dealing with...it doesn't make sense, and yes, reminds us of the fragility and fleeting nature of life. Sending cyber hugs and best wishes for your family...that Tucker is feeling better, that you'll see Dillon soon and that there will joy and laughter in abundance.

  12. Kecia,
    I am so sorry for the loss that you are dealing with. My heart goes out to all of you. Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

  13. I know what you're talking about. I wish I could be brave enough to talk so openly on my blog about it.

    Lisa D.

  14. I am so sorry for your loss and heartache. Sending warm thoughts and hugs your way.

  15. I am so deeply sorry for the pain and loss you are feeling. Reading this made me cry for the family of that little girl. It also made me really realize how very different things could have been last week when Grace and I were in our car accident. My heart goes out to all of you who knew her. And my heart goes out to you. Life can be so hard to understand. So much pain and so much loss weaved in with the joy and the light. ((hugs))

  16. This morning I woke up wondering why I dreamt about you last night. In this dream I walked by you sitting on a couch and you were very sad. As I approached you, you stood up and I gave you a hug for dear life. Now I know why. My heart goes out to you and your fmaily and to the family of this little girl they lost. We must strive to keep in our hearts how fragile life truly is sowe can enjoy every minute we have. Prayers for all sweetie.

  17. No need to apologize Kecia. Thank you for being real. My kids have some special needs too~nothing as severe as Tucker's. I know that grief. My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. You are a strong and brave woman. You work hard and give much. Make sure to care for yourself too. I'm sending hugs. <3

  18. The sun'll come out
    Bet your bottom dollar
    That tomorrow
    There'll be sun!
    Just thinkin' about
    Clears away the cobwebs
    And the sorrow
    'Til there's none!
    When I'm stuck a day
    That's gray,
    And lonely,
    I just stick out my chin
    And grin,
    And Say,
    The sun'll come out
    So ya gotta hang on
    'Til tomorrow
    Come what may

    Listen to this song on you tube....

  19. I'm so very sorry. We can certainly relate to the special challenges raising Children with Special needs presents... and with sorrow and/or significant illness impeding the Holidays. But I cannot even imagine the sorrow associated with the loss of a precious Child! My Heart and Prayers go out to the Family.

    I attended a Funeral just before New Year, a long time Friend passed Christmas Eve... I felt so badly for the Family and there were no words... it had suspended their Christmas in time and now will be an annual sorrowful reminder. I didn't have it in me to Celebrate the New Year after having attended the Funeral only the day before & with our own Family Health challenges to bear I was in quite a funk actually... but each day we have opportunity to make the most of the hand each of us has been dealt in the best way we can manage. I Hope your little one is doing better now? May 2012 be full of possibilities and Memories that make you Smile often.

    Blessings and a Hug from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

  20. this is such sad news.=(

    my prayers will be with her


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