I know, I'm a few days behind- but I've had a hard time celebrating the new year, so I guess I've just put it off. Tucker got sick (per usual) on Christmas Eve, which sent my adrenaline system into overdrive. It was really hard to enjoy opening gifts in between his coughing fits. It makes me sad for tucker, it makes me sad for dillon and it makes me sad for our family in general. All that stress hanging around in empty space above our heads, defeats in and all chances for enjoyment. It is difficult to describe, unless you know what I am talking about with the challenges of a special needs child and how it impacts the family and life in general, so I'll just have to leave it as, "sometimes it sucks".
then a few days later, a family friend's 10 year old niece, was killed in a car accident. This is a girl we've met at family functions and "know her". She was a beautiful blonde child with HUGE eyes and the cutest little bob ever. It is difficult to make sense of it. I almost wish i didn't know about it. I can barely think about it, it is so upsetting. My husband is there in Tennessee now, with his friends and the family. He is going to come home distraught and depressed; because we've been there- we know that sorrow. it is beyond devastating and there is little comfort beyond what little we are doing.
I can't help but reflect on how fragile life is. I keep thinking that less than a week ago, that precious child was celebrating Christmas with her family. She was probably very excited along with her darling little sister. And then she is gone. There is no making sense of it. Life is a random slot of numbers.
Sorry to be so melancholy. I've just said goodbye to dillon and sent him back to school (a difficult goodbye). the holidays are done and i'm feeling a little empty following the tragedy of an innocent child.