here i am.....

Hello world, it's me.....

I've been wanting to blog for awhile, but really lost my heart for it. Maybe I needed to take a break from it in order to be excited to blog again. Then on January 23rd, I lost my best friend, Michele, to breast cancer (triple negative, a very aggressive form of breast cancer) - so that really closed me off to the outside world as I grieved. Slowly, I feel myself returning. Not from the sadness, but I feel my voice (the one who tells all my stories), is returning. My path has been diverted, but I'm taking advantage of that to solely be living life for what I want and not what others are expecting of me, or what I think I should be doing. I'm sort of just letting life evolve. I'm saying NO more often to things that I don't want to be doing (but in the past, would say YES, so as to not let others down). The only expectation I want anyone else in this world to have of me, is understanding. Understand me and let me be who I want to be without anything else. I love others for who they are no matter how different they live their lives or the choices they make and I now expect that for myself. Otherwise I no longer feel like engaging that sort of person in my life. New doors are opening for me and I'm excited about that. Not teaching very much this year and I'm enjoying the time off. While I LOVE teaching, it's a lot of hard work. And for someone like me, who already has a full time job (let's make that LIFETIME) job of being a caregiver; honestly, things outside the house can be very overwhelming and exhausting. And that's not even covering how much self pressure I put on myself to be there more than 100% for the students or the event. I have some new goals for myself and I'm excited to put them in action. I have to return to the fun side of art. My friend would be proud of me, Michele, besides my husband and sons, was my biggest cheerleader when it came to my art. Always encouraging me, asking about my travels, wanting to see new art and hear the stories behind the pieces. I really miss that. 

xoxo,
kecia

p.s. the painting above, is one I recently did. It reflects me and Michele. Currently it is hanging in a boutique in Belmar, but I look forward to getting it back and hanging it in my studio. 

also, I have a new website: keciadeveney.com